Dear you,

I still think of you when I am alone... and sometimes even when I am with everyone else.
Sometimes it is hard to forget... way too hard. And when I remember, I can't stand the pain, hopelessness, desperation and infinite sadness. And the worst part is that I remember everything we did, everything we said, everything we SHARED. But now it feels as if only I shared it. Maybe only I lived it, maybe you weren't really there.

Yours,

ME

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Dear you,

Today I didn't think of you that much. I feel stronger than ever. I think my future can be bright. Maybe I didn't live what we supposedly lived.

Yours,

ME

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Dear you,

Today I remembered how we find out about each other's names. I can't even describe the pain that shot through my body. I felt numb, paralyzed by it. After that I couldn't focus anymore.
I wonder how you could forget all that. Does it bother you sometimes? Does it burst in your head the second you are least expecting it and drive you crazy? I think it doesn't... because if it does, then you wouldn't be able to walk around that much and say hi so naturally...
I don't even know what to think...
Did you ever feel anything? Were you real? How could you forget so easily? Do you ever remember? Does it hurt you? Do you care? Do you think of me? Do you think about that portion of your past? Did it ever occur to you that I might have taken a big risk for you?
I am getting dizzy now... I should be studying but I cannot. Your memory is too vivid...

Yours,

ME

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Dear you,

I imagined you coming. It was so real that when I tried to convince myself that it is NEVER going to happen I couldn't understand it. Sometimes I hope that you'll come back. I don't even know why anymore.
Sometimes I feel so hollow... incomplete. I keep wondering why.... Did I fall in love with you? I don't know. I guess I'll never know, there is no way of finding out anymore.

Yours,

ME

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Dear you,

I think I dreamed about you. But I just remember the ending, which is not clear. I just remember seeing you standing by a store in a shopping center. You dedicated me a poem. I don't remember it neither, but the feeling was that of disappointment, longing and regret. Do you feel like that? Or is it me who’s feeling that? Did I give that poem your body so that I could dedicate it to you? Or was it something else?

Yours,

ME

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Dear you,

I look around me and everything has your tint on it. The trees, the rain, the air. The buildings, the food, my room. The music, my poems, my drawings. It is hard to face you every single second of my day. It is especially hard with the music. All my current favorite songs are from when I met you. And I keep listening to them, because they are great songs. But, irreparably, they remind me of you and of the moments I was with you and with those songs in my mind. There is this particular song… I still remember what you were doing while I listened to it over and over again.

Yours,

ME

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Dear you,

Was it something I did? Should I have said something but I didn’t? Should I have done something? Is it all my fault? Sometimes I keep turning the facts, the moments, the words in my head. Maybe if I had done something differently… maybe… but I fear that it wouldn’t have changed anything. If I go to the past and change what I did… will I be sitting by your side now? Sometimes my answer is no…

Yours,

ME

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Dear you,

One day you asked me about my fears… I suppose I didn’t give you an honest answer. Don’t get me wrong, what I said is true. But it wasn’t everything. I hid half of it. I am also scared of getting hurt.

Yours,

ME

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Dear you,

I am full with questions. I cannot even grasp all of them, but they are there, in my mind. I found some things you wrote to me. Was it all a lie? How come it was so easy for you to say them, and easier still to take them back? I know I didn’t say much, but I haven’t taken any of that back. Maybe the reason why I couldn’t give or say too much at that time was because I didn’t want to hurt you if something changed… I guess I didn’t consider it the other way around… It was so easy to believe you…

Yours,

ME

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Dear You,

I still think about that night. I don’t quite get what you tried to say. I heard you saying all those things but they didn’t quite make sense. And I keep reliving that night. And the night after that. And the night after that one… I feel there is something wrong with all of that. Like honesty was no longer around (was it ever?). There are also some other moments. When we see each other and you say “see you” or any of those set goodbye phrases. I can’t help but think “yeah, right…”. It is so hard to believe you now.

Yours,

ME

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Dear you,

Today I did something I also did with you. But it was not the same… It ought not to be because you weren’t there. I was having fun, but suddenly the thought of you struck me. And everything hit me again.
I used to have this dream that one day we would go there together again and hold hands. I guess it is just another dream for my garbage collection.
And so, I am feeling quite lonely now. Your face and your demeanor are still fresh in my mind. I try to act as if I don’t care, but I do care. I want to be honest with you, and with me, and tell you what I am feeling. But I know you don’t care, and it would end up hurting me even more because I would see your indifference written on your visage.

Yours,

ME

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Dear you,

I miss you.
I guess I can’t hide that fact anymore. And seeing you doesn’t help, because I wish you were closer. And not seeing you doesn’t help neither, because I wish you were here.
I think the only way to put this is like this: “Tu me manques”. It is “me haces falta”… I don’t know how to say it properly…
But that is all I can say… Tu me manques…

Yours,

me

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Dear you,

I read some things you wrote too me, again. But this time I also read my replies. I realized I wouldn’t have said things like that in my whole life, before you and only to you. My reactions to what you said were different that how I would have reacted to anyone else.
I feel so stupid right now.
I fell for you… I believed what you said… And I said things I would have never imagine myself saying…
I wanted something to happen, so I tried to make it happen. For the first time.
Now I have learned…. I will never do that again.

Yours,

me

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Dear you,

If I had asked you to stay, would that have change anything? I guess not…
When I saw you today I did something I never thought I could do. I made my face forget you. And that is how an ugly day can be transformed into a beautiful series of moments.

Yours,

ME